toxic comparison

FAKE DEEP | What’s Your Name? What’s Their Name? A Simple Concept To Help Reduce Toxic Comparison

We live in a generation where we are expected to live, look, and act a certain way. Social media has found a way to narrow everyone’s mindset to focus on superficial aspects of life. How much do you earn? Are you making 6 figures in your twenties? Where do you live? If you don’t have a London postcode then you’re not living right? Have you been to Hakkassan? No? Well, your life must be boring. I want a body like hers. I need drip like his. 

We’ve been made to believe that these are the things we should be aspiring for in life and to some extent this might be the case. But overtime wanting to make six figures in your twenties has become less of a personal achievement for most people and more of a way to get social media brownie points.

Everyone wants to go and splash a ridiculous amount of money at Nobu, not because they like the food but instead because that’s what everyone else is doing. But at the end of the day what’s YOUR name and what’s THEIR name? This is a simple question you should ask yourself when you find yourself making a toxic comparison about your life.

Mind Your Business (Literally)

If you are an aspiring entrepreneur competition is definitely a big factor when it comes to making business decisions. But should it be? Why spend your time focusing on what the ‘completion’ is doing? What good will that do you? Sure, you might be able to pick out a few things that work for them and implement it to your business. Then again what’s YOUR name and what’s THEIR name? Just because something works for them doesn’t mean it will work for you. They might have a reason why they are doing things the way they are whereas you are just copying. And unfortunately, the issue with copying is that you can only make a move when the competition has made a move of the own. In other words you’ll consistently be in the second place.

The Hills Lol GIF by Robert E Blackmon

Why not mind your own business and do things your own way? If you see the competition achieve something, acknowledge it and get back to focusing on your business. Don’t worry if they seem to be making more progress than you, continue to build your platform. Eventually, you’ll have your time to shine and when that time comes you better be ready. Plus, you don’t know what others are doing to get to where they are.

Stay in your lane, there’s no traffic there. – Nipsey Hussle
The Baddies and The Bandits

When it comes to body confidence females seem to take the biggest hit and you can’t blame them when timelines are flooded with endless unrealistic ‘body goals’. In the comments section, you read things like ‘I’d die to have your body’ (That doesn’t make any logical sense but okay). ’This is the body I should have but God said otherwise’. ‘If I had a body like yours nobody would hear the end of it’ and so on.

Firstly love, you have to create your own beauty standards and stop following the standards of others. You think Lizzo would be who she is today if she was crying over IG Models? Secondly, don’t be fooled. Some of these women you’re crying over are selling you a dream.

Calvin Lockhart Flirting GIF by Warner Archive

Have you noticed that a lot of these models tend to end up in the gym AFTER they’ve taken a trip to Turkey to get their BBLs and whatnot? Don’t think these bodies are natural and give yourself anxiety because you can’t achieve the same results in the gym.

BBL bandits will get their bodies done, do a few horse kicks in the gym with resistance bands then tell you to buy their workout program, don’t let yourself get played. But with that being said, if you do want to get a BBL go ahead but do it on your own terms and not out of pressure from society telling you what you should and shouldn’t look like.

You’re The Sheep and Social Media Is Your Shepherd

Nowadays people don’t even know what they like anymore, instead, they wait for the next trend to tell them what to like. When Yeezy’s first came out, they were regarded as ugly and almost anyone you’d speak to had something negative to say about them. But due to social media hype, you found yourself paying £300+ for them. The same goes for the Balenciaga Triple S’s and a bunch of other trends.

At first, we don’t like it we swear on our mother’s lives we will never buy them but because those around us appear to like it we conform. We spend our hard earned coins on the product to solidify this conformity because failure to do so could be detrimental to our social credibility.

It’s Not By Force

It’s not by force to be a millionaire in your 20s. It’s not by force to snap every single second of your holiday. It’s not by force to buy the latest iPhone. It’s not by force to have 20 pairs of shoes. It’s not by force to become an entrepreneur.

Everyone on social media seems to have their lives figured out but it’s all blurred lines and smoked mirrors. Just because everyone seems to be doing things a certain way, doesn’t mean you need to join in. Do what you want, however, you want.

What’s Your Name?

There’s only one you in the world so why bother trying to be like someone else. The world doesn’t need two of anyone. Even twins go their separate ways no matter how identical they are. Remember your name and who you are because really and truly that’s a superpower that no one will ever have.

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