Post inspired by Toosii – Back From The Dead.
Have you ever had moments where you’ve just started crying? Crying not because anything has happened but because you’re exhausted. You’re full of energy but you’re so fxcking exhausted. It’s like you haven’t been able to catch a breath in a while, you’ve just been ploughing away at one thing or another, doing everything you can to get to a place that you don’t even know exists.
When you’re hustling towards a certain goal for yourself so much goes on along the journey that not many may understand or be able to relate to…
What’s On Your Mind?
…your mind for instance. I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking. Asking me what’s on my mind is like asking me what I’d do if I won the lottery…a lot of things. Thoughts constantly fly through your mind. Questions, answers, ideas, real scenarios, made up scenarios, the past, the future, the car that just drove past. But for some reason all these thoughts seem to align in a way that you can’t really explain to many…
Ride or Die or Just For The Ride? (Watch the Video At The End!)
…especially friends. Some will understand you, others won’t. Some will betray you and others may feel betrayed by you. You never know anyone’s intentions or what’s going through anyone’s mind so the best thing you can do for yourself is focus on yourself and your goals. It’s not for you to make them understand, it takes more energy than it’s worth.
Recently I’ve become the most sceptical person I know. I’ve gone from trusting people until they give me a reason not to to not having an ounce of trust in anyone, even those closest to me. Some people do what they can to stay close to you because they see you as a meal ticket, someone that will ‘put them on’ later down the line. But when things go quiet for you they become distant then as soon as things start looking up again you become a long lost relative and all you hear is ‘Bro, bro, bro’.
I don’t enjoy second guessing people’s intentions but it seems like the only way to save yourself a world of disappointment when you are eventually let down…
Terms and Conditions
…this even applies for your family. “[African] parents are clout chasers” in the sense that they rather see the rewards (money/fame) before they show their true support. Sharing your goals with your parents starts to seem like more of a curse than a blessing. Initially they’re all for it. ‘You know we’ll always support you…we just want you to be happy’ then after a while it turns into, ‘Why don’t you do something with yourself…at this rate you’re not going to end up anywhere…you need to be more serious about your life’.
Lack of belief from ‘friends’ are one thing, but parents, that’s PAIN because the support that was once unconditional now has a new terms and conditions. Terms and conditions where you have to be making money or have gained some sort of credibility from society (i.e. award, deal, recognition) in order for that full support to be restored…
By Any Means Legally
…so for now you’re on your ones. There’s a period you hit where you say ‘fxck the world, I’ll do this myself’. In this period your mind takes you to places you’ve never been, you start doing things you’ve never done. You shut off all emotions and just become cold and ruthless. Everyone has a thing they are running away from. Mine is coming out from under the financial wing of my parents. For two reasons:
- I get comfortable easily, it’ll be much easier for me to grow up accepting all the money my parents have to offer then grow up to be a bum who doesn’t think for himself.
- I don’t enjoy people throwing things in my face. Phrases like ‘…I’ve spent so and so to do so and so for you…’ so I’d rather get my own and be in control of my situation.
When this switch happened I told myself that every £ I made would be from something legal. I started flipping phones, working different jobs, doing events, selling old stuff literally whatever legal way I could earn money…
Jugging and Trapping
…because nowadays everyone romanticises the idea of being a trapper or fraudster but it really doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone’s hustle is different and I can respect it. Trapping isn’t any easier than running a business, there’s still a level of skill needed to do it no matter where your morale compass points.
At the end of the day you have to know yourself and I know that I’m not cut out for that. I know a number of trappers/fraudsters, and getting into that field of work could be easier and more appealing than the route I’m trying to take especially with how glamourised it is…
Stay In Your Lane, There’s No Traffic There
…but everyone’s journey is different. This is something you have to constantly remind yourself of when you’re hustling because it’s easy to say you wish you were in another person’s shoes when you don’t even know what it took to for them to get there. But how can you stay in your lane when social media is showing you that an e-commerce business can make you $10k in a few days or a forex trader just bought a Lambo in cash at the age of 20? You start thinking, ‘why would stay in your lane, going 20mph when you can be in another lane doing 70?’…
Lesson[s] Start[s] with L[s]
…well, to hit 70mph you’ve got to hit 20mph at some point. Then 30, then 40, then 50 and so on. Why not enjoy the cruise while you still can? Some days you just have to sit and ask yourself, if I were given the opportunity to go 70mph (metaphorically speaking) would I be able to handle it.
Trying to go faster than you’re ready to will get you into a big accident. On the contrary, the Ls that arise from such scenarios are also vital aspects of the hustling journey but they could also lead you down another path where you may not be able to recover from. The best lessons start with Ls, it’s really a beautiful thing…
…because it always rains before the rainbow. One thing you’ll notice is that after a long spell of things going wrong for you, something good happens but in a way that you don’t really expect. Sometimes it’s just a test of your faith and resilience. It’s like God testing you or making room for what he’s about to give you.
For example, in September I got a road bike. It was the love of my life. I was cycling every single day at any given opportunity until I got into an accident and it got written off. A few days after, I got my insurance sorted so I could start driving…
…but sometimes your reward doesn’t come that quick. So keeping a level of positivity in negative situations becomes a skill. In situations when things aren’t going your way, you have to look at things in the grand scheme. You convince yourself that this is all part of God’s greater picture…
Back To Square One
…while you’re crying in the shower because you’re so fxcking exhausted, you feel like you’ve been hustling for years, like you should be cruising in your Rolls Royce but at the same time you feel like you’re still in square one. That’s just the beautiful pain of hustling.
Next Read: Please, Thank You and Have A Nice Day!